What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 29.06.2025 05:00
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
When she asked me how she looked .
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Panthers' winning formula goes missing in Stanley Cup Final Game 1 loss to Oilers - NHL.com
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Inside Ukraine’s audacious drone attack on Russian air bases - CNN
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Marin health officer urges quick COVID vaccination - Marin Independent Journal
So whats the point in blame.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My family never makes their pension either.
Why can't hot girls date ugly guys? I am ugly but I want an attractive girlfriend
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Lipari Foods Issues Allergy Alert on Undeclared Milk in "Dark Chocolate Nonpareils" - fda.gov
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I waited trembling.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I have no regrets .
This is how, and why children get BPD.
American Airlines plane diverted because it was too big to land at airport - WKRC
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
What did i know ?
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
What happened to your school bully?
(And it was in our own minds.)
Put me off passion for life!!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Where to Watch Le Mans Live Stream 24-Hour Race Online for Free From Anywhere - Business Insider
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
So, i spoilt her more .
I will be 64.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Observations of recently detected SN 2024aecx suggest it's a Type IIb supernova - Phys.org
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Comes on , in middle age.
Ford Stock Rises After Strong May Sales. The Pain Is Coming. - Barron's
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Why does Russia support Palestine in the Middle East conflict?
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
He resisted the act ,that day.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I did it because my mum asked me too!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Would this be the day?
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I write beautiful poetry .
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
As i do to all so called friends.?
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
But it wasn’t much.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
My life is so biszare .
She married twice! .
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I was very sick at this time too.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Who then, do I blame.?
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Especially a lifetime of it.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I was scared of men, in general
She was in good health!
I was seconnd youngest,
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Why did i forgive my father ?
But ive been too sick for many years..
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
She loved him until the end.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He knew the spot.
She found it foreign!.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And i lived it daily.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
One cannot live in the past .
We were not on the streets..
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I could never make a relationship work though!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
But, we were locked up after school.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I was 9 years of age.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
She wouldn,t have been !
It was going to be , some day.
I don,t even have a pension.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I said to her
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I think the readers, may guess!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I never cut or harmed myself..
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
All the time i was locked up.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Ive learnt so much.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Im still living with it.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
We all went to grammer schools
This is soul school!.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.